Good Governance has started? WTF?

I voted for Maithripala Sirisena. Or rather, I voted against Mahinda Rajapakse. I didn’t vote for Maithripala because of his 100 day programme. His new policy on good governance was an added bonus. But I didn’t vote because of it. I just wanted Mahinda Rajapakse out. I wanted his corrupt brothers out. I wanted his corrupt and dumb son out. My thinking was that just about anyone is better than the Rajapkse family. I’d have voted for the common candidate even if it was Mussolini or Hitler. They might end up as murderous dictators. But it’d take some time. Mahinda was already a dictator. Quite murderous too (as when he shelled civilians and killed journalists). If you’re a Maithri voter who is not a hardcore UNPer, this is probably your way of thinking too.

But I like this good governance stuff very much. Since Maithri and Ranil promised it, I want it. Now I realize that catching all thieves within a couple of weeks is impossible. I know that you need the support of the parliament to get the stuff in the 100 day programme done. But firing Bandula Padmakumara from Swarnavahini is utter bullshit.

Bandula Padmakumara, the first corrupt asshole you see in the morning

It’s true that this guy is a corrupt piece of shit. He very much deserves to be kicked out of Lakehouse, because Lakehouse is government owned, and corrupt sons of bitches like this asshole shouldn’t be tolerated. But the government has no right to force a private media organisation like Swarnavahini to oust a guy. Doing that is anti-democratic, and anti-free-speech as shit. A private media like Swarnavahini is under no obligation to be unbiased. They are allowed to have their own shitty political opinion. Bandula Padmakumara, as corrupt as he is, is a citizen of this country, and therefore is allowed to have and express his own shitty opinion. Denying him that right is utterly fucked up.

So Ranil and Maithri, please don’t be cunts. Don’t do cunt-ish things like this. If you really want to ban someone, ban this dumb fuck, because according to the most respected political philosopher in the world, free speech is allowing anyone except les-libertarian to say anything.

The Curious Case of Shitting the Nut

What’s more fun than winning an election is watching the losers go nuts. What’s even more fun is watching a nut go nuts. Sittingnut went nuts. You may wonder how this could happen. How could a nut go nuts? Well, I don’t know. What I know is that, Sittingnut (a.k.a. the-libertarian-fan-of-the-authoritarian-Mahinda-Rajapakse, Rajapkse’s-23rd-Ass-licker, the-lesbian-libertarian, the-biggest-cunt-ever, the-dumbest-motherfucker-ever-born), went nuts.

The election was on 8th January. On 6th January, Sittingnut published a post titled “reasons why mahinda will win by a significant margin”, predicting a huge Mahinda Rajapkse victory, and explaining the reasons in excruciating detail. He then published another article explaining why Mahinda Should win. Being the myth-buster he is (ROFL), he published another article titled “tight election” and other myths and rumors”. He wrote,

“it seems maithree supporters are reduced to floating rumors in social media, and to repeating words “tight election” in every other tweet and blog post they make, as if such repetition will make it “tight”. it is also a symptom of their state of denial as their fantasy breaks. lol”

His mistake was thinking that we were talking about his ass.

He went so far as to publish election results in almost real time, as if these information are not readily available on the internet with charts and graphs and shit. He was that keen to celebrate is cunt-ish victory. But being the cunt he is, he got it totally wrong. Maithripala won pretty comfortably with over 51% of the vote.

Then he went nuts

After the spectacular victory of Mithripala Sirisena, Sittingnut (a.k.a. the-libertarian-fan-of-the-authoritarian-Mahinda-Rajapakse, a.k.a. Rajapkse’s-23rd-Ass-licker, a.k.a.a the-lesbian-libertarian, a.k.a. the-biggest-cunt-ever, a.k.a. the-dumbest-motherfucker-ever-born), went completely nuts. The level of nutty-ness he reached is legendary. He published an article titled “sri lankans made a big mistake today”, to ventilate his frustration. The point of this post was basically that he hates the world. Go and read it. It reads as if it was written by an angsty teenage girl who hates the world and listens to Taylor Swift music. He even calls the elected-President “maipuppet”.

But of course, his frustration is too much to get rid of with one article. After all, he really liked getting fucked in the ass by his authoritarian master. So he has published five more articles by the time I write this, titled

1. yaha palanaya! new government tries to illegally suppress news from north

2. yaha palanaya! political thug upul jayasuriya threatens chief justice

3. yaha palanaya! ravi k. and mangala in cabinet

4. yaha palanaya! a backdoor government established in uva

5. yaha palanaya! backdoor politicos & police raid upfa office

The funniest thing about these articles is that he’s even complaining about the government fucking with free speech. This is from the cunt who said nothing about the death of Lasantha Wickrematunga and eleven others (and when pointed out, made fun of them), who said nothing about beating up Poddala Jayantha and twenty something other journalists, who said nothing about bombing MTV and Siyatha TV, who said nothing about burning down Irudina and Virakesari during the Rajapkse regime. The nut is a libertarian of a peculiar kind (hint: it’s the ass-licking kind).

So here’s the deal shit-nut. You have been beaten. You have been conquered. You have been stripped naked and fucked in the anus. So, for the rest of your pathetic little cunt-ish life, you are my bitch.

Feeling Free

Finally, we have done it. Sri Lankans are free. Still a lot of work to be done. I mean, it’s clear that rural middle-class Sinhalese idiots have been brainwashed by the state media, so we have to un-brainwash them by brainwashing them the way we want using the state media itself. We also have to get the constitutional reforms done, and every cent spent by the Mahinda regime accounted for. And we have to unblock some websites.

Just want to say, while my friend Sittingnut, the libertarian cocksucker of the authoritarian Mahinda Rajapkse, idiotically believed that Mahinda would win, I predicted this outcome correctly. So basically, trust me in future. I know this shit better than Sittingnut, the libertarian cocksucker of the authoritarian Mahinda Rajapakse.

“Sirisena Is Part Of A Foreign Conspiracy”, says Siripala. “Our priority should be the party and the party cadres”. No shit you fat tub. Screw the citizens.

Nimal Siripala a.k.a. Sherlock Holmes

It could be nothing but a foreign conspiracy. There’s literally nothing can happen against the Rajapakse regime that is not the result of a foreign conspiracy. If someone wants to run against Mahinda in a presidential election, it’s a foreign conspiracy. If Basil wants something and the supreme court denies it, it’s a foreign conspiracy so the Chief Justice should be impeached. If poor people protest when they are evicted and their homes are destroyed because Gota wants to beautify Colombo, it’s a foreign conspiracy. If Mahinda had to fart in public, why, it’s definitely a foreign conspiracy.

In fact, if you’ve watched the early morning programme on Rupavahini that discuss foreign news, you’d know that nothing can happen against the ruling parties of countries like Russia, China, Cuba, North Korea, Venezuela, and Iran that is not an American conspiracy. Those bastions of democracy and freedom have legitimate governments that 99.9999999% of the people love, and it’s the other 0.0000001% and the Americans who’re trying to fuck them up. Clearly what’s happening in Hong Kong is an American conspiracy, and has nothing to do with young people genuinely scared about being subjected to the ruthless, undemocratic, illiberal Chinese rule. This is exactly what’s happening in Sri Lanka. It’s a conspiracy.

Rupavahini’s Vijaya Dissanayake, one of Sri Lanka’s foremost foreign policy experts

This lie is so transparent that I’m constantly amazed by the fact that people still fall for it. Does the stupidity of Sri Lanka’s general public have no end? Not only this is a lie, it’s a pretty lazy fucking lie. They’ve been selling this shit for a decade now, ever since Wimal Weerawansha started licking Mahinda’s ass. It’s his lazy ass lie that they are still using. I mean, it’s one thing to use it against Ranil, and the UNP. But they are using it against Mithripala, Rathana Thero, and Patali Champika Ranawaka, the same people who picked up the lie and used it against Ranil?

You can never overestimate the stupidity of the common man. Never. They are pretty effing dumb – Wimal Weerawansa

Nimal “Jamis Banda” Siripala however said something important here though. He said, “there are no perfect leaders or political parties. One must know how to survive within a party – our priority should be the party and the party cadres”. This is the only truthful thing he said during the entire press conference. It has never been about the country or its citizens. The citizens of the country should die paying taxes, or die in actual war, so these worthless sons of bitches can prioritize their fucking party and its fucking cadres over everything else. Yeah, let the Rajapakses’ dismantle the judiciary, fuck up the EPF funds, and steal out of development projects, because you have to prioritize your party, and the party’s cadres.

Fuck ’em. Our priority is the party and its cadres. – Nimal Siripala

Now the truth. It’s said in these government press conferences that what’s happening is something like the Arab spring. Arab springs were largely unsuccessful because even though they managed to topple dictators, in the end those countries ended up with even more ruthless dictators. So what the government’s saying is,

Mahinda is a dictator, but his regime shouldn’t be toppled because it’ll destabilize the country and lead to another dictator.

Sounds convenient, doesn’t it? And for some, it may sound familiar, because it’s exactly what every other fucking dictator told the people after the Arab spring.

Two things. First, you’ve admitted Mahinda’s a dictator. So fuck him anyway. Secondly, Arab spring turned out quite successful in Tunisia. Toppling dictatorships sometimes work out well for the people. Sri Lanka’s closer to Tunisia than to those other Arabian countries. Even though Sri Lanka doesn’t have the kind of rich, old democratic traditions that some of the Western countries have, we have a far better democratic tradition than those Arabian countries. So maybe we can make this shit work. Let’s do that.

It feels good to oust a dictator in Tunisia

Vaas

Just got a news alert that DIG Vaas Gunawardena is admitted to hospital due to an illness, after being arrested over the murder of a Bambalapitiya businessman and eight other murders. Yeah right, we didn’t even see that coming. It’s totally surprising. Damn, wow, what a coincidence. But I tell you what, this guy is not going to jail. That the Mahinda Rajapakse government allowed him to be hospitalized is evidence that the government isn’t done with him yet. Sure, the government may have one or two differences with him, which is why they do this to him now . But like Mervyn, like Duminda, like Sajin Vaas, Vaas Gunewardena is a valuable asset. So I tell you now, as I told you when Duminda was accused of murder, this guy is not going to go to jail. Yes, that’s the hard truth; as true as the fact that SL is not going to win this ICC Champions Trophy. But I hope that SL wins. I hope that murders and rapists are punished. It’s a sad thing, to have hopes for your country.

What’s worse than crime is when the government gives immunity to criminals. I’m not particularly disturbed when someone is murdered, or raped. It’s just a name; just someone that I don’t know who got killed. I don’t really care about them because I never knew them. Of course sometimes I’m shocked by the brutality of crimes. But then I completely forget about it and go on with my life. That’s what we all do. There’s so many bad things happening that if we really cared about all of them we’d all be insane by now. But I want every single one of those criminals arrested. That’s the only way to have a civilized society. You need to keep the criminals out.

We are not living in a civilized society. We live in a society in which you can be crushed like a cockroach if you are not powerful, or at least in favour of those who are powerful. Your life’s worth is just a couple of hundred thousands. Humans are violent in nature. That’s why we need a mechanism to control all that violence. When that mechanism itself is corrupt, what we get is Sri Lanka.

Shit, why am I even writing this? I guess just to vent out my frustration. It’s a sad, sad thing to have hopes for your country.

Government makes it mandatory for all websites that publish news about Sri Lanka to register with the media ministry.

Ain’t this getting funny? Hah hah. First they banned tamilnet, then few other websites, and most recenty lankaenews. And now this. They ask you to send an email to amarathungamedia@yahoo..com for further information. I’ll be sending spam.

So anyway, I guess this means gossiplankanews has to register itself. Hah. Does this include blogs too? I guess yes. So Sanjana Hattotuwa will be selling his ass to the media minister in the future if he doesn’t sell everything he has here and move abroad. There’s not much point in that anyway. They’re going to block groundviews no matter what Sanajana Hattotuwa does. Frankly, I won’t bother to find holes in the government’s firewall to learn what Hattotuwa thinks.

But I wonder, what’ll happen to kottu? Will we see certain blogs disappearing as if they never existed? I mean the guy who runs it has already shown his colours by running Milinda Moragoda’s Facebook page. It’d be sad if it happens though. It is not that difficult to create something like kottu. Not that easy to form a community around it.

So, SLFPers can be proud about how their Maha Rajatuma is orally raping free speech. Rapists can be happy that they get to go to Singapore instead of going to jail. Government politicians can now be rolling on the floor and laughing because now they own two sugar factories and they can make all the arrack they want. Young entrepreneurs can start making plans because now that Duminda’s gone, the drug market is full of opportunities. Ain’t all this pretty goddamn fantastic?

I’ve got one advice for you though. Please don’t make comments on the websites you don’t trust.

By the way Rajiva Wijesinghe, are you registering your stupid-blog-in-which-commenting-is-blocked-because-all-you-do-is-lying-and-mudslinging-on-behalf-of-the-government-and-therefore-afraid-of-truth-free-speech-and-everything-that-is-good-in-this-world? If you are, I’ll be registering mine as well. I mean why not? It’s the media ministry that we all trust absolutely.

Watching a country get fucked in the ass

There’s nothing much to say really. In fact there is. It’s just that there’s no point in saying them. Just like political satire loses it’s place when things get too absurd, words and languages loose their place when monkeys run the country.

The government is fucking Daya Gamage right now by taking over his company – the Sevenagala Sugar Factory. What’s his crime? Is it making a company that was loosing money in millions a company that actually makes profits and creates jobs? No. His crime is the fact that he’s a UNPer. He’s not the only one. Watch how the stock market will fall like Rome from time to time in the future. Here’s my advice. If you have capital, don’t invest it here if you don’t want to lick a Rajapakse or Silva asshole.

Right now it seems that a handful of people own the country. Apart from the Rajapakse family, there’s Raynor Silva, Dilith Jayaweera, Nimal Perera, Dammika Perera and few others. People are stupid, so we can do nothing about it. Bit sad.

As I predicted weeks ago, Duminda Silva will not go to gaol for murdering a man in broad daylight. He’s not even in the country anymore. If that doesn’t mean anything to Sri Lankans, I don’t think anything will.

I don’t know why I even care about this country. I don’t as much as I did two or three years ago. But I still do care a bit. That is a weakness.

Gotta love this woman

Hirunika Premachandra has balls. I don’t mean that as a compliment. Chandrika had titanium balls and look what she did. But Hirunika does have balls. Duminda’s supporters would rape and kill her if they get the chance. Those drug addicts do not think, and may not understand the necessity to lay low right now. Sure, Hirunika must have thugs of her own. Don’t tell me Bharatha did not have the muscle to screw things up for many people. But Duminda is an out of the world kind of thug. Something so fucked up that Satan himself would stop eating if he ever saw him.

Why’s she getting so much publicity? Why not her mother, Bharatha Laxman’s wife? Is it because she’s pretty? Beauty is perception. I don’t think she’s pretty. But I think some find her pretty. She’s got a fair skin.

Whatever the case, she’s getting a lot of publicity and something interesting is happening. People pity her and pity can turn into votes. Just like so many other women, Hirunika seems to be a master of politics of tears. I’ll never vote for her. But she’d probably get elected to the parliament if she gets the chance to run.

But if Duminda starts walking again, he’ll rape her.

Goodluck Hirunika.

Duminda tried to save Laxman

By now it is clear what’s going to happen regarding the meaty fuckness Duminda Silva. He’ll live, and he won’t go to gaol, but instead turn out to be a martyr, a great man who almost died saving Laxman. According to the ugly Kolonnawa thug Laxman’s driver, the meaty fuckness gave the command to shoot at Laxman. But who cares? According to the driver and the butt-cleaner of the meaty fuckness, the meaty fuckness actually shouted “DON’T SHOOT” out loud but his henchmen went ahead and shot repeatedly at Laxman with automatic weapons. Wow! So the meaty fuckness, the child rapist, kidnapper of whores and actresses, the philanthropic drug peddler, the toucher of a random woman’s face that he saw while driving by, the asshole who hit her and tried to gang rape her right then and there, the fuckness who illegally possessed automatic guns, is also a pacifist.

Mahindananda Aluthgamage, member of parliament and amateur thug is also of the same opinion. Something unfortunate happened because of the stupidity of the henchmen of the two fucknesses according to him. Not because of the fucked-up-ness of the two fuckers themselves. Ranil shouldn’t be worried about it because he has shown that he has no heart by kicking Buddhika Pathirana, the 27-inch-MP, out. Well, doesn’t that sound right, that Ranil is heartless and Duminda’s a pacifist?

Government’s media spokesman says that Duminda is not under arrest because of cultural and religious concerns. Ain’t that great? See how fucking religious this Mahinda Rajapakse government is?

What does Rajiva Wijesinghe, the blogger, professional liar, and government MP has to say about this? Nothing. He’s only concerned about the size of white dicks. The fact that a child rapist, a kidnapper, a drug peddler, a toucher of the faces of random women is a member of parliament is not important to him. Forget about him. He’s gay anyway.

The incident of Duminda touching a random woman’s face is what’s most disturbing to me. I don’t really care if underworld fucks fuck each other’s mothers. But that random woman could be you, or your wife, or your girlfriend, or maybe sister. What can you do? Impunity runs deep. Mahinda is fucking us all.

Well, if that happens to you, either kill or get killed. Don’t live like a ball-less fuck.

UNP Wins Colombo

Fuck yeah. How does it feel Mr. Milinda Moragoda? It sucks, doesn’t it? You bloody loser. You deserve it. You betrayed us. We voted for you, thinking there was an intelligent UNPer inside your toad-like head and you switched parties. You goddamn betrayed us and this is our payback. Now suck it. Suck it hard. First you lost your seat in the parliament, but that wasn’t us. Those SLFPers just don’t like your platitudes and they were always suspicious about you. Then you had the fucking audacity to ask for our votes again while offering your butt hole to the party of Duminda Silva, Mervyn Silva and Bharatha Laxman. It didn’t work out that well for you, did it? Now you can go back to using your Facebook page to try forever to get laid.