The other day, while I was walking around in Colombo, I was approached by a bunch of guys from Hutch who claimed they were giving away Hutch SIM cards for free. Okay, let’s stop right there for a minute. What the fuck Hutch? They were wearing T-shirts with the Hutch logo and all, but they didn’t even look like they could be working for any company. The fuckers looked like they hadn’t bathed in 150 days, ever since Maithripala came to power. Seriously, what the fuck? You want to rename your company to Grimy Hutch or Shit Hutch or something?

Anyway, those dirty looking guys wanted to give me a Hutch SIM for free. I’m not a retard. I knew there was a catch. So I was very careful about the questions I asked them, and about the answers they gave me. I told them that I already had few SIM cards, and that I didn’t need any more of them. They told me to take their shitty SIM anyway because it’s all free and Kumbaya. I asked them if they would activate the SIM. They told me they’d activate it if I fill the form and give them my NIC details. So now they’ve promised me to give me the SIM and activate it without any money changing hands. I said I’d take it then.

Then they started to fill a form, and wrote down my NIC details. Then the guy said that I had to reload 197 rupees to activate the supposedly free SIM, and activate it’s fucking Kumbaya package. I countered that they said they’d activate the SIM for free, and I’d reload it whenever I feel like it, but won’t do it right then. They responded that I need to reload it through them, and them alone. So apparently I had to give 197 rupees to those grimy fucking crooks to take away the fucking free SIM. In fact I’m sure it’d be 200. They didn’t seem like the sort to have any coins with them.

I told them they could keep their fucking free SIM, and left. So I saved my 200 rupees. But I noticed there were others there who apparently had thought the SIM really was free, but just couldn’t say no to those grimy fuckers when they asked for 197 rupees to activate the SIM after filling the form and stuff. There were a couple of girls there who looked miserable. They were being pressured to give money to those slimy crooks from Hutch.

So Hutch, is this what you do to make money these days, you fucking cunts? What the fuck? Why don’t you fucks instead pull down your pants and bend over? That’d be a more honest way to make money you fucking bastards. I’ll never buy anything from you fucking bitches.

I voted for Maithripala Sirisena. Or rather, I voted against Mahinda Rajapakse. I didn’t vote for Maithripala because of his 100 day programme. His new policy on good governance was an added bonus. But I didn’t vote because of it. I just wanted Mahinda Rajapakse out. I wanted his corrupt brothers out. I wanted his corrupt and dumb son out. My thinking was that just about anyone is better than the Rajapkse family. I’d have voted for the common candidate even if it was Mussolini or Hitler. They might end up as murderous dictators. But it’d take some time. Mahinda was already a dictator. Quite murderous too (as when he shelled civilians and killed journalists). If you’re a Maithri voter who is not a hardcore UNPer, this is probably your way of thinking too.

But I like this good governance stuff very much. Since Maithri and Ranil promised it, I want it. Now I realize that catching all thieves within a couple of weeks is impossible. I know that you need the support of the parliament to get the stuff in the 100 day programme done. But firing Bandula Padmakumara from Swarnavahini is utter bullshit.

Bandula Padmakumara, the first corrupt asshole you see in the morning

Bandula Padmakumara, the first corrupt asshole you see in the morning

It’s true that this guy is a corrupt piece of shit. He very much deserves to be kicked out of Lakehouse, because Lakehouse is government owned, and corrupt sons of bitches like this asshole shouldn’t be tolerated. But the government has no right to force a private media organisation like Swarnavahini to oust a guy. Doing that is anti-democratic, and anti-free-speech as shit. A private media like Swarnavahini is under no obligation to be unbiased. They are allowed to have their own shitty political opinion. Bandula Padmakumara, as corrupt as he is, is a citizen of this country, and therefore is allowed to have and express his own shitty opinion. Denying him that right is utterly fucked up.

So Ranil and Maithri, please don’t be cunts. Don’t do cunt-ish things like this. If you really want to ban someone, ban this dumb fuck, because according to the most respected political philosopher in the world, free speech is allowing anyone except les-libertarian to say anything.

I think it's stress

What’s more fun than winning an election is watching the losers go nuts. What’s even more fun is watching a nut go nuts. Sittingnut went nuts. You may wonder how this could happen. How could a nut go nuts? Well, I don’t know. What I know is that, Sittingnut (a.k.a. the-libertarian-fan-of-the-authoritarian-Mahinda-Rajapakse, Rajapkse’s-23rd-Ass-licker, the-lesbian-libertarian, the-biggest-cunt-ever, the-dumbest-motherfucker-ever-born), went nuts.

The election was on 8th January. On 6th January, Sittingnut published a post titled “reasons why mahinda will win by a significant margin”, predicting a huge Mahinda Rajapkse victory, and explaining the reasons in excruciating detail. He then published another article explaining why Mahinda Should win. Being the myth-buster he is (ROFL), he published another article titled “tight election” and other myths and rumors”. He wrote,

“it seems maithree supporters are reduced to floating rumors in social media, and to repeating words “tight election” in every other tweet and blog post they make, as if such repetition will make it “tight”. it is also a symptom of their state of denial as their fantasy breaks. lol”

His mistake was thinking that we were talking about his ass.

He went so far as to publish election results in almost real time, as if these information are not readily available on the internet with charts and graphs and shit. He was that keen to celebrate is cunt-ish victory. But being the cunt he is, he got it totally wrong. Maithripala won pretty comfortably with over 51% of the vote.

Then he went nuts

After the spectacular victory of Mithripala Sirisena, Sittingnut (a.k.a. the-libertarian-fan-of-the-authoritarian-Mahinda-Rajapakse, a.k.a. Rajapkse’s-23rd-Ass-licker, a.k.a.a the-lesbian-libertarian, a.k.a. the-biggest-cunt-ever, a.k.a. the-dumbest-motherfucker-ever-born), went completely nuts. The level of nutty-ness he reached is legendary. He published an article titled “sri lankans made a big mistake today”, to ventilate his frustration. The point of this post was basically that he hates the world. Go and read it. It reads as if it was written by an angsty teenage girl who hates the world and listens to Taylor Swift music. He even calls the elected-President “maipuppet”.

But of course, his frustration is too much to get rid of with one article. After all, he really liked getting fucked in the ass by his authoritarian master. So he has published five more articles by the time I write this, titled

1. yaha palanaya! new government tries to illegally suppress news from north

2. yaha palanaya! political thug upul jayasuriya threatens chief justice

3. yaha palanaya! ravi k. and mangala in cabinet

4. yaha palanaya! a backdoor government established in uva

5. yaha palanaya! backdoor politicos & police raid upfa office

But butthurt I sense in you

The funniest thing about these articles is that he’s even complaining about the government fucking with free speech. This is from the cunt who said nothing about the death of Lasantha Wickrematunga and eleven others (and when pointed out, made fun of them), who said nothing about beating up Poddala Jayantha and twenty something other journalists, who said nothing about bombing MTV and Siyatha TV, who said nothing about burning down Irudina and Virakesari during the Rajapkse regime. The nut is a libertarian of a peculiar kind (hint: it’s the ass-licking kind).

So here’s the deal shit-nut. You have been beaten. You have been conquered. You have been stripped naked and fucked in the anus. So, for the rest of your pathetic little cunt-ish life, you are my bitch.

Listen to what this 70 year old cunt has to say after losing the election. The votes of North and East are Eelam votes according to this corrupt son of a bitch. One in the crowd is even calling for Maithripala’s death (which was exactly what Mahinda the Cunt tried to do during the election night when it was clear that he was going to lose).

This is why I’m not against appointing Somaratne Dissanayake as the Chairman of Rupavahini Corporation. Mahinda has to be defeated for good to save this country. You need to counter their racist propaganda with equally vitriolic propaganda using state media, which is why you need shameless men like Somaratne.

Feeling Free


Finally, we have done it. Sri Lankans are free. Still a lot of work to be done. I mean, it’s clear that rural middle-class Sinhalese idiots have been brainwashed by the state media, so we have to un-brainwash them by brainwashing them the way we want using the state media itself. We also have to get the constitutional reforms done, and every cent spent by the Mahinda regime accounted for. And we have to unblock some websites.

Just want to say, while my friend Sittingnut, the libertarian cocksucker of the authoritarian Mahinda Rajapkse, idiotically believed that Mahinda would win, I predicted this outcome correctly. So basically, trust me in future. I know this shit better than Sittingnut, the libertarian cocksucker of the authoritarian Mahinda Rajapakse.

My3 will win


I’m tired of people thinking MR would win, or that this election is a close one. Bullshit. My3 will win, and he’ll win comfortably.

That’s my prediction.

Mahindananda Aluthgamage, member of parliament, cabinet minister, professional fraud and amateur thug, walked out of the political debate show Wada Pitiya on Derana TV yesterday after being accused by a caller of being exactly who he is – a professional thief. Aluthgamage in return accused Derana TV (which is sort of owned by government minister Sarath Amunugama) of being biased against the government.

Below is a link to what happened

Below is a link to learn what a fraud this man is

Nimal Siripala a.k.a. Sherlock Holmes

Nimal Siripala a.k.a. Sherlock Holmes

It could be nothing but a foreign conspiracy. There’s literally nothing can happen against the Rajapakse regime that is not the result of a foreign conspiracy. If someone wants to run against Mahinda in a presidential election, it’s a foreign conspiracy. If Basil wants something and the supreme court denies it, it’s a foreign conspiracy so the Chief Justice should be impeached. If poor people protest when they are evicted and their homes are destroyed because Gota wants to beautify Colombo, it’s a foreign conspiracy. If Mahinda had to fart in public, why, it’s definitely a foreign conspiracy.

In fact, if you’ve watched the early morning programme on Rupavahini that discuss foreign news, you’d know that nothing can happen against the ruling parties of countries like Russia, China, Cuba, North Korea, Venezuela, and Iran that is not an American conspiracy. Those bastions of democracy and freedom have legitimate governments that 99.9999999% of the people love, and it’s the other 0.0000001% and the Americans who’re trying to fuck them up. Clearly what’s happening in Hong Kong is an American conspiracy, and has nothing to do with young people genuinely scared about being subjected to the ruthless, undemocratic, illiberal Chinese rule. This is exactly what’s happening in Sri Lanka. It’s a conspiracy.

Rupavahini's Vijaya Dissanayake, one of Sri Lanka's foremost foreign policy experts

Rupavahini’s Vijaya Dissanayake, one of Sri Lanka’s foremost foreign policy experts

This lie is so transparent that I’m constantly amazed by the fact that people still fall for it. Does the stupidity of Sri Lanka’s general public have no end? Not only this is a lie, it’s a pretty lazy fucking lie. They’ve been selling this shit for a decade now, ever since Wimal Weerawansha started licking Mahinda’s ass. It’s his lazy ass lie that they are still using. I mean, it’s one thing to use it against Ranil, and the UNP. But they are using it against Mithripala, Rathana Thero, and Patali Champika Ranawaka, the same people who picked up the lie and used it against Ranil?

You can never overestimate the stupidity of the common man. Never. They are pretty effing dumb - Wimal Weerawansa

You can never overestimate the stupidity of the common man. Never. They are pretty effing dumb – Wimal Weerawansa

Nimal “Jamis Banda” Siripala however said something important here though. He said, “there are no perfect leaders or political parties. One must know how to survive within a party – our priority should be the party and the party cadres”. This is the only truthful thing he said during the entire press conference. It has never been about the country or its citizens. The citizens of the country should die paying taxes, or die in actual war, so these worthless sons of bitches can prioritize their fucking party and its fucking cadres over everything else. Yeah, let the Rajapakses’ dismantle the judiciary, fuck up the EPF funds, and steal out of development projects, because you have to prioritize your party, and the party’s cadres.

Fuck 'em. Our priority is the party and its cadres. - Nimal Siripala

Fuck ’em. Our priority is the party and its cadres. – Nimal Siripala

Now the truth. It’s said in these government press conferences that what’s happening is something like the Arab spring. Arab springs were largely unsuccessful because even though they managed to topple dictators, in the end those countries ended up with even more ruthless dictators. So what the government’s saying is,

Mahinda is a dictator, but his regime shouldn’t be toppled because it’ll destabilize the country and lead to another dictator.

Sounds convenient, doesn’t it? And for some, it may sound familiar, because it’s exactly what every other fucking dictator told the people after the Arab spring.

Two things. First, you’ve admitted Mahinda’s a dictator. So fuck him anyway. Secondly, Arab spring turned out quite successful in Tunisia. Toppling dictatorships sometimes work out well for the people. Sri Lanka’s closer to Tunisia than to those other Arabian countries. Even though Sri Lanka doesn’t have the kind of rich, old democratic traditions that some of the Western countries have, we have a far better democratic tradition than those Arabian countries. So maybe we can make this shit work. Let’s do that.

It feels good to oust a dictator in Tunisia

It feels good to oust a dictator in Tunisia

Shameless, of course. Fucking despicable assholes. But if anything, this is encouraging for the opposition parties. You can watch it live using the below link while it’s on. After the live broadcast is over, you can use the below Youtube links to watch it.
Funny, they unblocked Sirasa the moment the Satana debate show ended. Mahinda Rajapakse’s brilliant concept of freedom of speech at display.
And now they are trying to pretend it was just a technical issue. Must have not been prepared for the social media blowback.

Sirasa TV Live

Broadcast live streaming video on Ustream

Sirasa Satana Part 1 – 22/11/2014

Sirasa Satana Part 2 – 22/11/2014

Sirasa Satana Part 3 – 22/11/2014

Sirasa Satana Part 4 – 22/11/2014

A post on Rajan Ramanayake's Facebook page.

A post on Rajan Ramanayake’s Facebook page.

M Vs. M

M Vs. M