Nimal Siripala a.k.a. Sherlock Holmes

Nimal Siripala a.k.a. Sherlock Holmes

It could be nothing but a foreign conspiracy. There’s literally nothing can happen against the Rajapakse regime that is not the result of a foreign conspiracy. If someone wants to run against Mahinda in a presidential election, it’s a foreign conspiracy. If Basil wants something and the supreme court denies it, it’s a foreign conspiracy so the Chief Justice should be impeached. If poor people protest when they are evicted and their homes are destroyed because Gota wants to beautify Colombo, it’s a foreign conspiracy. If Mahinda had to fart in public, why, it’s definitely a foreign conspiracy.

In fact, if you’ve watched the early morning programme on Rupavahini that discuss foreign news, you’d know that nothing can happen against the ruling parties of countries like Russia, China, Cuba, North Korea, Venezuela, and Iran that is not an American conspiracy. Those bastions of democracy and freedom have legitimate governments that 99.9999999% of the people love, and it’s the other 0.0000001% and the Americans who’re trying to fuck them up. Clearly what’s happening in Hong Kong is an American conspiracy, and has nothing to do with young people genuinely scared about being subjected to the ruthless, undemocratic, illiberal Chinese rule. This is exactly what’s happening in Sri Lanka. It’s a conspiracy.

Rupavahini's Vijaya Dissanayake, one of Sri Lanka's foremost foreign policy experts

Rupavahini’s Vijaya Dissanayake, one of Sri Lanka’s foremost foreign policy experts

This lie is so transparent that I’m constantly amazed by the fact that people still fall for it. Does the stupidity of Sri Lanka’s general public have no end? Not only this is a lie, it’s a pretty lazy fucking lie. They’ve been selling this shit for a decade now, ever since Wimal Weerawansha started licking Mahinda’s ass. It’s his lazy ass lie that they are still using. I mean, it’s one thing to use it against Ranil, and the UNP. But they are using it against Mithripala, Rathana Thero, and Patali Champika Ranawaka, the same people who picked up the lie and used it against Ranil?

You can never overestimate the stupidity of the common man. Never. They are pretty effing dumb - Wimal Weerawansa

You can never overestimate the stupidity of the common man. Never. They are pretty effing dumb – Wimal Weerawansa

Nimal “Jamis Banda” Siripala however said something important here though. He said, “there are no perfect leaders or political parties. One must know how to survive within a party – our priority should be the party and the party cadres”. This is the only truthful thing he said during the entire press conference. It has never been about the country or its citizens. The citizens of the country should die paying taxes, or die in actual war, so these worthless sons of bitches can prioritize their fucking party and its fucking cadres over everything else. Yeah, let the Rajapakses’ dismantle the judiciary, fuck up the EPF funds, and steal out of development projects, because you have to prioritize your party, and the party’s cadres.

Fuck 'em. Our priority is the party and its cadres. - Nimal Siripala

Fuck ’em. Our priority is the party and its cadres. – Nimal Siripala

Now the truth. It’s said in these government press conferences that what’s happening is something like the Arab spring. Arab springs were largely unsuccessful because even though they managed to topple dictators, in the end those countries ended up with even more ruthless dictators. So what the government’s saying is,

Mahinda is a dictator, but his regime shouldn’t be toppled because it’ll destabilize the country and lead to another dictator.

Sounds convenient, doesn’t it? And for some, it may sound familiar, because it’s exactly what every other fucking dictator told the people after the Arab spring.

Two things. First, you’ve admitted Mahinda’s a dictator. So fuck him anyway. Secondly, Arab spring turned out quite successful in Tunisia. Toppling dictatorships sometimes work out well for the people. Sri Lanka’s closer to Tunisia than to those other Arabian countries. Even though Sri Lanka doesn’t have the kind of rich, old democratic traditions that some of the Western countries have, we have a far better democratic tradition than those Arabian countries. So maybe we can make this shit work. Let’s do that.

It feels good to oust a dictator in Tunisia

It feels good to oust a dictator in Tunisia


Party Loyalty


My brother-in-law asked me what’s the reason behind me being a UNPer, especially since my maternal grandfather is a prominent SLFPer. This would’ve been a difficult question for me to answer if I hadn’t written an article titled “My Vote” last week. So I answered, I’m not a UNPer, but generally lean towards it, mainly because I hate the Sinhalese-Buddhist, nationalist craziness of the other party… But his question got me thinking. From where does this party loyalty come from? I’m not talking about just consistently voting for the same party. I’m talking about the willingness of the blue-bloods & green-bloods to die for their parties. I’ve thought about this from time to time, but never given a serious thought to it… There are martyrs, people who die for something they believe in, people who believe there are things worth dying… There are (crazy) religious martyrs, for whom I have no respect at all. Only idiotic nuts die for something as worthless as religion… There are Che Guevera kind of political martyrs. These people are willing to die to make the world a better place (for you and for me and the entire human race). I have a great respect for those people. They’re the one’s who move the world forward. That’s why I respect what the JVP did in 71 and again in 88/89, although I have issues with their ridiculous ideology… There are science martyrs, people like Copernicus, who fought for a scientific truth against an ignorant church. I love those guys… I understand why a man or a woman would want to be a martyr. I don’t agree with the idea of someone dying for his/her religion, but I understand why someone want would to do it. They firmly believe in something… But what about the blue-bloods? What about the green-bloods? They die for their political parties, but are they martyrs? Now if there’s a Coup’d Mahinda, or a Coup’d Sarath, there will be green-blood or blue-blood martyrs. But otherwise, there’s not much difference between the two main parties, is there? I mean, half of the UNP (Keheliya, Moragoda, Samarasinghe, Pieris, Johnston etc) are now in the UPFA. They say UNP is the market friendly party. But look at the stock market… So why do they sacrifice? I don’t know, but I think it’s simply because belief is always blind. Look at a religious martyr. Most of them don’t even know the essence of their own worthless religion. Similarly, how many green-bloods know what does an open economy means? How many blue-bloods understand making fly-overs here and there doesn’t get us anywhere?… Parents brainwash their children. They brainwash them with religion, they brainwash them with politics. I asked a 6 year old child of a UPFA supporter about Sarath Fonseka. He replied “oka pal hora”. The kid will die young.