Today’s been a boring sunday, so I thought I might as well write about my favourite subject: the astounding stupidity of Nalin de Silva. Recently I watched this American TV show called ‘The View’ on youtube. It had 5 women talking about things they don’t really understand. At least one of those women was a complete idiot. Not only she doubts evolution and asks for ‘the missing link’ (really? How many more fossils you need?), she thinks the world is flat.

I can understand it if someone, who hasn’t seen the scientific evidence, thinks that the earth is at the centre of the universe and everything – the sun, the moon and stars revolve around it. I get that. But I don’t get how a person of at least average intelligence can ever think that the world is flat. The Greeks figured that the earth was round over 2000 years ago, and they hadn’t even invented the scientific method. They had seen the way ships disappear over the horizon. It was pretty damn too obvious for intelligent men like Plato and Aristotle and Archimedes to not notice.

See, here’s the thing. We observe. We observe a lot of things. Then we try to explain them. To do this we make models. These models should be able to properly explain what we observe. The flat-earth was such a model which explained what we observed when we still hadn’t imagined of ships. Then we built ships and saw how they disappear over the horizon. So now the flat-earth doesn’t explain what we observe. And anyway, if the world is flat, why doesn’t the salt water in the oceans just don’t spill out of the pizza shaped earth?

If you claim that the sun goes around the earth just like the moon, you should be able to predict where saturn is after exactly 24 days, or when will Haley’s comet will appear again. If you can’t do this, your geocentric theory is useless. If you can explain everything we observe in the night sky with your geocentric theory, and make predictions, then you’re alright. But sadly, you’ve failed. Your geocentric theory explains shit and predict piss. We’ve got a better a theory. You tortured the elderly Galileo for teaching this theory, you dumb fucks.

Nalin de Silva thinks that Western Science is just another form of knowledge, and that it is not previleged. He believes in demi-gods and shit. He probably even thinks that you can drive devils away from possessed human beings by cutting a hole in their skulls (yeah. Some african tribes believe it. Since all knowledge is equal according to Nalin, why not try this on Maharaja?). I mean it’s alright if his sinhala-buddhist knowledge can explain what we observe and make accurate predictions. If sinhala-buddhist knowledge can cure mental patients by drilling their skulls, it’s alright. If sinhala buddhism can give people the ability to fly over oceans, like Western Science does with aeroplanes, that’s fantastic. Unfortunately it just can’t. Sinhala buddhism sucks, just like all other bodies of knowledge except the Western scientific one. It explains nothing and predicts nothing.

I’m a little bit homophobic myself. I think most straight people are. I’m just happy to let them live in their weird little world as long as they don’t have any cosiderable effect on my life. For example I don’t want a homosexual to get a job simply because the company had to fill a quota. But I don’t want homosexuality forbidden in this country, and homosexuals arrested or burnt alive or castrated. That’s exactly what however the authors of Gossiplanka and the majority of people who comment there want. They want the government to dictate upon people’s sex lives. They want the government to dictate how genitalia should be used. Why the hell should the government give a crap about how people fuck and with whom they do it? Do the Gossiplanka editor, authors want the government to decide which sex positions are legal and which are not? Do they want to legalise the missionary position and forbid doggy-style and vertical sixty nine? If not, why not? If the government has the right of the Christian god to tell some people how and with whom they are allowed to have sex, why can’t it do the same with the vast heterosexual majority? Some of the people who comment there at the Gossiplanka want gays to be castrated (apparently they don’t know about female circumcision and infibulation. Otherwise they’ll advocate that too). And they call themselves buddhists, on a path to enlightenment. Tell me, how many penises you should cut off before you attain nibbana?

The other thing these people are mad at is prostitution. To be fair, some of the commentors actually support prostitution. But that is only because that is the only way they can get laid. Or else they would have to go to war and rape a female LTTE cadre. Unfortunately for them the war is now over. Even when the war was going on, most of those buggers didn’t have the balls to join it.

Recently, a few television and movie actresses got arrested for prostitution. The people at Gossiplanka simply couldn’t stop whining about it. “Oh dear, what has happened to Lanka. What has happened to these actresses?” I tell you what has happened. Most Sri Lankan teledrams and movies are crap. Even you people therefore instead watch Hollywood movies. So these actresses now don’t have a way of making money. So now they fuck for money. I don’t think they like it. They might like it if they cosistently get fucked by hot men. But most of the time it’s going to be people like Rajiva Wijesinghe. There’s no way they could enjoy that.

In any case, what’s the big deal about prostitution? It’s not like you are required to marry whores. Menaka Rajapakse will do that for you.

Goodfellas is the greatest movie ever made. The Godfather used to be the greatest movie ever according to me. But not anymore. Goodfellas is the greatest movie ever. It’s pretty good. I mean it’s pretty damn good. I mean it’s fucking awesome. Anyone who disagrees will sleep with the fish. Sorry, that was a line from The Godfather. It’s true that Godfather’s got more memorable lines than any other movie in the history of cinema. It’s true that you can’t compare Al Pacino with Ray Liotta. But the movie is damn good; Scorsese at his best.

What Goodfellas shows is why people do what they do. Not just why gangsters do what they do. But why anyone does whatever he does. People try to do what they love. But mostly they just go with the flow. Just accept whatever comes in their way, and don’t think about it much. The moment you start thinking about it, you’re screwed.

I love the 90s. This was an era before Michael Bay and his stupid Transformers crap. People back then actually wrote movies. Pulp Fiction is one such movie. I tell you what, Torretino knows how to write dialogues. Just witty and brilliant without being excessively conspicuous. I really loved what Uma Thurman character says about uncomfortable silences.

Fargo is a must watch movie. This is such a remarkably well made movie. Everything about it is just perfect. Coen brothers knew how to make movies. I mean great ones like Fargo. Then they went on to make not so great movies until they made No Country for Old Men.

I rarely watch terrestrial television channels because to me their programmes are lacking in quality. I get my news from the internet – mainly from web and emails. I watch American TV shows and watch pirated copies of Hollywood movies. But lately I have started to watch Sirasa TV news and Swarnawahini news. The reason is, they are not news programmes at all anymore. (Rupavahini and ITN never had much to do with news.)

Yesterday Sirasa bashed Ranil and Mangala for 20 minutes and called the remaining 10 minutes rest of the news, as if they had been broadcasting news for 20 minutes prior to that. What I find interesting however is that Sirasa TV has finally realised the magnitude of the stupidity of an average Sri Lankan. I bet they learnt that from Rupavahini, or from Sudarman. Take for example how they disproved Ranil’s claim that Kili Raja Mahendran asked for two parliament seats. They showed a video clip in which Sajith Premadasa says that he believes that’s a lie. Then they showed another video of Mano Ganeshan saying the same thing. Then they say “thus, Ranil’s claim is false.” Fuck my ears and call me mamacita.

Enough about that. Obviously Maharaja wants something and he wants it bad. He’s always wanted a cock between his man-breast, so I don’t want to think about it. Swarnawahini’s superstitious pinheads are much more interesting.

The thing about Swarnawahini is that they know what their audience is. Their audience is provicial, uneducated, and just plain stupid enough to believe Gods and Astrology and Devils and international conspiracies and various other shit like that. They know how to satisfy those needs because they themselves are provicial, uneducated and almost as stupid as their audience. Seriously, gods do science researches now? Who in the fuck believes that except for the uneducated, inarticulate and stupid people, and the highly educated, very articulate, yet equally stupid Prof. Nalin de Silva.? And short dramas in the middle of a news programmes? Idioms and advices during a news programmes? What the world is coming to? One big blog worse than mine?

The enmity between Ranil and Maharajah has risen to new heights. Yesterday they bashed Ranil for saying a rather profane yet widely used Sinhala word “vesa” while attacking Maharaja. According to Ranil, Maharaja wants “…power without responsibility, the privileges of the harlots throughout the ages.”

Maharaja thinks that this is so important to people that he asks for public opinion. Basically they stop people on the roads, tell them that Ranil called Maharaja a “vesa geni”, and ask for their opinion. On TV it seems that everyone condemns Ranil, but at least one of them told “oya yakata inna deela thopilage vesa ammalata hukapalla.” That person is me, and I was censored, just like the hypocritical padashow artist Indi Samarajiva did to me.

Maharaja didn’t stop at that. He launched an SMS competition against Ranil’s remark. Don’t worry about its outcome. I’m sure the competition is as fair as Sirasa Superstar programme – that inferior facsimile of the equally ridiculous American Idol.

Right after the launching the SMS competition, they showed a speech of Sajith Premadasa, their favourite competitor/candidate for super star/ presidency. The speech was, as usual, a cornucopia of platitude. How Sajith consistently manage to sound unimpressive is a mystery to your humble correspondent.

The real mystery is, what Maharajah is upto. I don’t believe he’s a thin skinned Dayan Jayatillake to cry like a baby when someone calls him a harlot. Maharajah is upto something big, and we’ll have to wait to see what it is. But we’ll see only when Sajith becomes president on the day pigs learn to fly and shit towards moon.

As previously discussed in a simple claustrophobic format, the cornucopia of bigotry in the meta narrative of the fundamental structure of his administration has caused a mellifluous voice of insanity to take hold of Mahinda’s mind. If we go by Lacan, we can safely deduce that the square root of minus one in this case has fornicated with the penile transactions of the administration, causing sycophants like Rajiva Wijesinghe to arduously convert mindless thoughts into words inelucably engraved onto a blog. The transformative nature of these transgressions are unequivocally calamitous – a thought so horrendous that it shakes the foundations of Western ideas of freedom and liberty. What most supporters of the government and those who have Friended Mahinda on Facebook commercialism do not understand is that fornicating with such deformations is driving the country to a Christian Bible sort of revelation – a genesis reversed by a falsity.

To be continued…

Apparently he thinks I sexted with his wife, and I’m like WHAT THE FUCK. Whatever. I don’t have time for this.