Meaning of life

02/05/2010

I want to die. I know I’m not going to suicide. But I write this to capture exactly how I feel now… This has nothing to do with grief or depression. Rather it is about curiosity – the desire to know. I don’t know how many other people have felt this way. I just want to know what it is like to not exist, which is ridiculous since if I cease to exist, then how cannot know what it’s like to not exist. I don’t believe in any religion. I don’t believe in life after death. But what if there IS life after death? I mean I just can’t imagine what it is like to not exist, which is again an illogical question. But still… Who am I? Sometimes I’ve thought about the possibility of me being the only one who really exists, while everyone else being not real. But then I’m almost certain that most other people have felt this way as well. Still I seriously feel this way from time to time. Perhaps I don’t exist either. No, no way… But again who am I? Why am I living this life? I could’ve born as Shakespeare. I could’ve born as Grace Kelly. I could’ve born as Hitler. But I didn’t. I live this life. I don’t hate this life. Not at all. But why do I have it? I’m not good at remembering faces. But I’m incredibly good at remembering numbers. Why is that? I’m living in 2010. Why, why not 1809? I mean time isn’t going anywhere, is it? … I’ve thought about reincarnation. But if I believe it, I have equally enough reason to believe in God as well. Also with reincarnation, there the problem of when did it all began. If something doesn’t have a begining, then how can it have an end?… I believe life is meaningless. But sometimes I’m not so sure. Are we as insignificant as cockroaches are to us to the universe? … Damn. No wonder I laugh at people who try to undestand things like what love is. It seems the only thing that has any meaning is sex. I really mean it. Through sex, at least we can procreate.

Advertisements

4 Responses to “Meaning of life”

  1. Jamie Says:

    brain miniature…… consult a doc. LOL

    to be honest i too feel the same some times. Everything in this life is temporary, even happiness so face it as it comes.

  2. Java Jones Says:

    It’s all an illusion man. Once the consciousness ceases to exist in its present form, the universe (as one knows/perceives it) will also cease. Pure energy (‘God’ if you like) is all there is – the rest is Maya…

  3. lefroy Says:

    @java jones… It’s not that simple. What is consciousness for one thing? And then how can we even begin to talk about what’s there when consciousness cease to exist. You say once it cease to exist, all there exists is pure energy (and since E=mc2, mass too). But according to whom? Since my consciousness doesn’t exist, who’s there to say that pure energy is all that exists? God? … You say it’s all an illusion. Then who experiences this illusion?

Leave a reply and get lefroyed

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s